Ice on a Sandwich?

I often awake to calls and pleas for breakfast from our youngest son, Kendall. That boy often wakes with one thing on his mind... Food. This morning started very much the same, but he wanted a breakfast sandwich. By the time I had gotten to the kitchen he already had the ham and cheese out and was trying to figure out how to get the eggs off the top shelf. That independent boy!

I prepared his breakfast and placed it it before him. I also warned him that it was hot. As I started back to the kitchen, Kendall asked for me to put an ice cube on his sandwich to cool it. You are probably thinking... What??? When I prepare oatmeal for him, I will often add an ice cube to it and stir it to cool the oatmeal down. Then, I can spoon out the remaining cube when the oatmeal is just right. I realized that Kendall thought if it would work with oatmeal, it might just work for his sandwich.

I chuckled in my heart as I explained that the ice would only work for oatmeal. Then, it hit me- how many times do I apply a solution to a problem that just doesn't work. Typically, this is when I have tried in my own efforts to "fix" a situation without seeking the will of my Father. The results, too often, were as messy as an ice cube on a sandwich.

Why do I try to figure out and handle things on my own? I have the source of all wisdom, all knowledge, all power, and all love waiting for me to just ask Him... Yet, I jump out on my own. I think of Sarai who tried to provide an heir for her aging husband through her maidservant. It did not turn out well. Rebekah tried to make sure that the best son received all the blessings and a war between brothers erupted. Her beloved son had to flee to another nation for safety. Israel, God's chosen people, have often tried to resolve issues without seeking the Father and the results were never good- remember the golden calf?

I think King David's charge to his son, Solomon is very wise...

“So now, with God as our witness, and in the sight of all Israel—the LORD’s assembly—I give you this charge. Be careful to obey all the commands of the LORD your God, so that you may continue to possess this good land and leave it to your children as a permanent inheritance.
“And Solomon, my son, learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately. Worship and serve him with your whole heart and a willing mind. For the LORD sees every heart and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him, you will find him. But if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. So take this seriously. The LORD has chosen you to build a Temple as his sanctuary. Be strong, and do the work.” (1 Chronicles 28:8-10 NLT)

We, too, should strive for obedience of the Father. We, too, should strive to know God intimately, and worship Him with our whole heart and mind. He knows us- every detail- and knows what we truly need. He will give us the wisdom we seek if we will just focus on Him. We are still about the temple building business! We are the temple of God- as His church- every new believer adds to our temple.

My friend, I don't know if you are in the mire of a hard situation of just in the day to day sea of decisions. This I do know- all we must do is seek after the Father and allow Him to work out things in His will and for our good. Otherwise, you will just end up with a mess.... Just like an ice cube on a sandwich.

Cereal on a Plate

Kendall has been so sick the past few days. He is tired, weak, and very emotional- any little thing and the tears fall fresh and heavy on his cheeks. Yesterday, in the midst of the day he requested some cereal to eat. I had no issue with that because he has not eaten well and cereal as well as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have been the most appealing to him. However, he wanted me to put his cereal on a plate and add milk. What? I offered to put the cereal on the plate- with no milk- or put it all in a bowl. He cried for several minutes as I refused to put his cereal with milk on his favorite baseball plate. He just couldn't understand why he couldn't have what he wanted, the way he wanted.... Finally, he caved and went to the table to eat his cereal with milk that was waiting in a BOWL.

I am so like that with God. Times that I just want what I want- even if it doesn't make sense and it isn't what is best for me. There have been times when I am pleading and crying for my way in something and I believe God is lovingly refusing my pleas. Why? My requests make about as much sense as cereal on a plate- it is not what is best for me. Most of the times what I am requesting is a "quick fix" that would temporarily easy my discomfort, but it will never truly fulfill the need.

"This is what the LORD says: “You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the LORD. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” (Jeremiah 29:10-14 NLT)

Most of us are familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, but when you read the whole passage we can see that God is promising that His plans are for their good. However, He is also refusing their requests for a "quick fix" with an immediate release to go back to their homeland. In the end, God was and has continued to be faithful to Israel. He has not failed them- or me- or you. He has committed to work out His plans for our best outcome- even if it means standing firm refusing our quick fix solution. Why? He loves us too much to give us less than His best.

Dressed for the Day

Lately, Kendall has been very faithful to bring me his clothes each day to wear. I chuckle at this because, as a homeschool family, we often do school in our pajamas or in play clothes. However, this does not seem to fit Kendall's personality. Often I have just set down with my coffee and Bible when I see him bringing me his choice of clothes for the day ahead. He needs to feel dressed and prepared for whatever we might to that day.

I have thought of this often lately. How would God want me to dress or prepare for my day. Then I thought of the following passage of scriptures:

"For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." (Ephesians 6:12-18 NLT)

I think God wants me to study His word and put on His faithful armor to protect me from the evil one that longs to distract, mislead, and harm us. Each day I must make an effort to make sure I am prepared for all that may come about that day and it begins by spending time in the word, praying my heart to the Father and listening for His response. This enables the Holy Spirit to be at work guiding, leading, and enabling me to live a God-called life beyond circumstances.

I would never let us leave the house if we weren't dressed for public, but how many times have I left without being spiritually dressed for the day? Father, forgive me....

Hidden

Yesterday, in the midst of schoolwork, I noticed that Kendall had gone missing. Plus, he was extremely quiet- these are the primary prerequisites for a parent check on him. As I began my search, I noticed that the refrigerator door was slightly ajar. Upon a closer look, I saw two small, bare feet barely sticking out of the opening. Quickly, I grabbed my camera and took some photos of my beloved youngest sitting in the cold, darkness drinking a yogurt that he was afraid I would not let him have.


One part of me couldn't help but chuckle at the site before me. Yet, I saw a much sadder reflection in his actions- my own. How many times have I sat hidden and cold in the darkness of sin. Fully knowing that my actions were not what was noble, right, and true.... and yet, so enchanted by the sin that so easily entangles, I stayed there in the dark. Sin is a lonely, cold place and there is always fear of being found out lurking in the anxious mind of the one trying to stay in the dark.

When I opened the refrigerator, Kendall was a mix of emotions, but primarily he was sad at my finding him and angry at me. How dare I interrupt his yogurt time! Isn't that the reaction of many when "found out"? I know when I felt discovered, my heart wanted to lash out in anger at the one who had brought light to my darkness. Truthfully, the anger came from my own sadness of having believed the lies if the evil one.
He calmed once I reassured him that he could have the yogurt, but I just wanted him to eat it at the table and ask permission next time. Happily, he responded quickly and went straight to the table to await his snack. I had no problem with him having the yogurt- it was late in the morning and I have no doubt that he was hungry. He choose a healthy snack at that! My issue was that he did it the wrong way- without my blessing.  He was seeking to fulfill his needs on his own. I think that is God's response to us as well. Too often, it's not that God doesn't want us to have what we are seeking, he just wants us to do it the right way. To seek Him first and to allow it to be outpouring of His great love for us. When we seek after Him, the blessing is no longer hidden in the darkness, but a cause of celebrating at His banquet table.

"Let me encourage you to continue to wait with faith. God may not perform a miracle, but He is trustworthy to touch you and make you whole where there used to be a hole" Lisa Whelchel ("Once a Day Everyday")

"God's smile is not for the healthy hiker who boasts he made the journey alone. It is, instead, for the crippled leper who begs God for a back on which to ride." Max Lucado ("Grace for the Moment")

My friend, if you are in the cold darkness of a sin that has you entangled, reach and grasp the scarred hand of the Savior- He wants to free you. He wants to give you life, healing and joy! Let Him draw you out into the light of His all encompassing love!

Praising Jesus

Our church will about once a quarter have a praise and worship service where we just spend an extended time singing to our King as well as times of testimony, scripture reading and extended prayer. I love our Sunday services together, but these services are something so special to my thirsty soul. I think part of it stems from my love of music and how it stirs my heart and soul to awe in my glorious King. Plus, these services reflect the beauty of a church united in praising the Savior they love- hymns and praise songs alike.

Last night when we came home from the service we were trying to eat a quick dinner and get to bed. As I was preparing the dinner, I heard something from the dining room table. I looked over to see my two year old with his hands lifted high singing, "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" over and over. I just melted. I was able to catch a few brief moments of it on video.

This brought to my mind the verses our pastor read last night from Psalm 40.

"I waited patiently for the LORD to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the LORD. Oh, the joys of those who trust the LORD,
who have no confidence in the proud
or in those who worship idols. O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them." (Psalm 40:1-5 NLT)

As I thought through this passage, God has helped me through so many trials and difficult times. Each time He has given me a new song of testimony and praise for His mighty works in my life. I think He is constantly working in us as we walk climb difficult paths to give new spiritual markers of our growth in Him. No matter where we are today, He is still ready to give us a new song to share with the world of who He is and all He has done for us.

I loved that Kendall found a new song last night. He is learning about Jesus and singing of that growing love the only way he knows how. It was simple. It was genuine. It was convicting- do I share what God is doing in my life with others? Do I listen to the fresh, new melody God is growing within my soul? What is He doing in my life right now? What new paths are we traveling lately?

My friend your song can be as simple as Kendall's praise by just crying out to your Savior. Let us ever be aware of what He is doing in our life and how He is growing and maturing our faith. Let us sing- sing a new song- of His works within our mind, heart and soul!!! Let me never stop searching for the new song He wants me to sing...

"I See Him?"

Kendall, our youngest son, is quite a night person.  He tends to be a little grumpy in the morning, but about seven in the evening he just starts bubbling over with joy and fun.  Tonight he walked around the house with a baseball glove on and kept shouting "Homerun!".  He also tried to "hide" in the shower curtain and wanted me to find him which was easy because he was so tickled with himself that laughter just bubbled forth.

Nights like this when he is so joyful, it can be difficult to put him to bed because I just love seeing him so happy.  Plus, he has a hard time calming down as he just wants to play.  I have learned to sing quietly to him that often he will calm down and go to sleep much quicker.  Tonight, I sang Jesus Loves Me to him several times and each time he would say, "Again!".  Finally after three or four times through the song, I tucked him in and started to walk out of the room when I heard him say something,  He said, "I see him?"  I quickly realized he was asking about seeing Jesus.   I asked him, "Oh, do you want to see Jesus?"  He smiled and said, "Yeah!". 

As I left his room, my heart flooded with emotion.  My precious two year old wants to see Jesus- the Jesus he knows loves him.  The Jesus we teach him about.  The Jesus that we sing about all through the day.  The Jesus we honor and praise with our words and, hopefully, our actions.  The thought that hit me that I want him to see Jesus in me!  I want my actions, words and lifestyle to reflect my Christ so much that others can't help but see my Savior in me.  It won't happen by accident- I am learning that I must draw from the life-giving scriptures each day as well as uninhibited prayer times.  I have to seek after His face daily because in my own strength I will fail terribly.  

Friend, I don't know where you live or what you might be going through, but I do know that you have influence on those around you.   You never know how God might use you to share His love with others, but we must be prepared- we must go and seek after Jesus each day.   I, like Kendall, want to see Jesus....today, tomorrow and every day. 

Spiritual Time Out

In the past few weeks, Kendall has turned into a full two year old!  Now, he is very loving and funny, but he has defiantly taken up his role of "2" with a vengeance lately.  You can just hear the fits and temper tantrums, right?  Well, as with each of my kids, both Reagan and I try to work with each of our kids to see what forms and types of discipline work best with our boys as well as keeping in mind that this can change from day to day.  Ahh, parenting, it is not for the weak!

Well, Kendall seems (at this point) to respond better when given a "time-out" when in the midst of a fit or issue that he will not follow my lead or wishes.  I have tried "other disciplines" with him, but that seems to escalate the situation more for him.  So, in the crib he goes for a couple of minutes.... or five if mom forgets. (I know, Bad Momma!)  Often, it seems, he just needs the quiet solitude to come to the point of yielding to my wishes- to my will- in the situation.  After that time, he will easily respond to me in an appropriate manner and life continues until the next round for the day.  He is always much happier and at peace after his time alone in the crib- away from the distractions and audience of the house.  He just needed the quiet solitude to resolve himself to obedience.  I have also noticed that these fits most often arise when he just doesn't understand a situation; for example, he has gotten angry many times because he is hungry.  Most of the time, I am already in the midst of preparing him something to eat, but he doesn't see or understand that I am working on it.

I am SO like that with God.  Sometimes, in my anger or frustration with Him over situations that I feel He should have handled differently, I just need a spiritual time-out.  A time of just being in silence and solitude with the Father to yield my heart and mind to His will for me.  Sometimes, it's not that I am upset with Him, but simply needing to yield my day or plans to Him.  The more days that I start by secluding myself with Him, the more days I need that time with Him- I miss it- and I feel "off" all day when I have caved to the pressures on my day.   Sometimes, I just don't understand a situation and can't see that God has already heard my cries and is resolving the issue in His perfect way.  On Tuesday, I had a quick time of study in order to go to an appointment I had that day.  Throughout the day, I felt a longing to just slip away and be with HIM- to praise, to pray, to ponder and to just be silent before the God I love. 

Honestly, our world hates silence.... we always need some noise happening- radio, television, phone.....  The evil one knows that if he can keep us busy and surrounded by noise, then we will struggle to hear the call of the Father.  So, we surround ourselves in busy noise and grow more spiritually anemic.  Silence and beautiful praise before the Father with no agenda, but to just 'be' with Him is what all believers need to yield our minds to His plans and will.  It gives us peace, balance, joy, and preparation for all that we will face that day.  It helps us to see His plans for us through faith and calms our fearful cries.

"In that day he will be your sure foundation, providing a rich store of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge.  The fear of the LORD will be your treasure."  Isaiah 33:6 NLT

" Be still, and know that I am God!  I will be honored by every nation.  I will be honored throughout the world."  Psalm 46:10  NLT

I want a firm foundation with God and I need his rich treasure!  I need to be still before Him so that I can recognize Him as the the God of my life, my house and my day.  I need the silence and solitude that can point my spiritual compass in the right direction for the day- today and every day.

Messy Lessons

Yesterday, it was lunchtime and Kendall was READY to eat and that boy loves his food! Right now, he has discovered a french toast bread that I get at our local grocery store and he loves it. If he sees it in the pantry, he will go to the door and call out "bed" (aka bread) until someone comes to check on him. I don't mind him having a slice or two (okay, being honest here- four) for breakfast, but not at lunch, dinner and all snacks. So, being a mean Mommy, I prepared him something else. He cried and fussed and endured a trip to timeout before sitting still in his high chair. While sitting quietly, he finally asked for what I had prepared and ate very well as you can see in the picture.

I had to laugh as I thought about this whole scenario.... it is SO like me with God. Too often I cry and throw a fit over what I really wanted in my life until I take the time to sit and be still before Him. During that time, my heart is softened and I am able to give up my will for what God has planned for me. His plan is always better for me that what I would choose anyway.

Well, after Kendall ate his lunch and fed himself, the boys were laughing at how messy he had gotten. I knew that I could have fed him and the mess would have been minimal, but he needed to learn how to do it himself. Too often lessons in our kids lives are messy, dirty, sticky and overall unpleasant- and NECESSARY. I think sometimes we try to make our kids' lives so easy that we forget that they need to learn by experience - sometimes with our direction and sometimes on their own. Learning involves making mistakes, getting dirty and it always takes more time. However, when the lesson is learned, they are more independent and prepared for what the future may hold.

This truth applies to all of us. Some lessons are spiritual, some are mental, some are physical, and most have to be learned through experience- it is our human nature! I wish that I could read the Bible and always heed God's instructions. Sadly, too often, I have to learn through mistakes and challenges, but when the lesson is learned, I grow more in His likeness. I am learning that I may have to be dirty and tried to really have a humble heart for HIM.

The good news is that creates beauty out of our ashes and no mess is ever wasted.

A Cry in the Night

Last night, in the middle of the night, I heard the all too familiar cries of one of my sons. I made the groggy walk across the house to his room and gently placed him on my shoulder. Swaying together to a silent song, he laid his head against my neck and drifted to slumber again. After a few moments, I laid him in his crib and stroked his small hand in mine until the tears subsided. I sat on the floor next to his crib as he just seemed to need me "there" and "near" to be his protector.

So, I sat.... and prayed. I prayed for each of my boys- praising Him for their strengths and pleading out for their weaknesses. When the breathing from the crib seemed deeper and more content and my eyelids grew so heavy, I crawled out of the room.

In this process I had the thought..... "My Father God, is this what you do for me?.... Do you sit beside me in the midst of times that I just need you 'there' and 'near'? Do you cradle me in your arms when the need is so great that I must cry desperately to you?"

I know it is what God does for all of His children. He soothes and comforts during those times that we seek after Him and a peace- HIS peace- fills us and we know, as His children, that the Father is near and there for us. We are never alone in trials and challenges and when we need Him closer, He holds us .... isn't it during those most desperate times that we can most clearly hear the heartbeat of who He truly is to us.....

And unlike this Momma, he never grows weary.... He is ALWAYS there and near....

Kendall's First Birthday Party

Since Kendall's birthday came on a Monday we decided to celebrate his birthday this past Saturday. Figuring out a party theme for a first birthday is always a challenge for me.... I mean, WHAT does a one year old like??? Kendall's favorite "toys" include the remote control for the television and any cell phone he can get a hold off! I wasn't sure if they made plates and napkins for that?!? So, we decided on a western cowboy theme since that was also his nursery theme. Here are some photos from all the fun!

Kendall really loved his cake... can't you tell? I was even dared to kiss him like that, and I sure did it! See the icing on my chin? I mean, he REALLY like his cake!

Here is a picture of Reagan and I with Kendall before the cake "incident".

Here is the table with all the goodies: s'mores, "Trail Mix" and his cowboy cake.

Here was his invitation. I loved all the pictures of him.
I wanted to have a catchy phrase like, "Son of a gun
Kendall is turning one!" - oh well, maybe next year! LOL

It was truly a fun day of just celebrating the great gift God gave us in Kendall last year. He is such a blessing to our family.

Just one year ago....

Monday was a special day in our house. Kendall turned one! We had a great family celebration last Saturday and I will share pictures of all that fun tomorrow. First, however, I just need to share some of my memories of one year ago.

I had been so shocked and surprised, on July 8, 2009, when I took a pregnancy test and discovered that we were expecting. Reagan and I had always wanted children and were thrilled with the births of two sons, Caleb and Carson. I had continued to hope and long for a girl, but after our layoff in January 2009 we had decided that two children was enough for us. (Can't you just hear God chuckling right now?)

Our plan was to do something "permanent" when Reagan got another job with benefits. Well, Reagan was blessed with another job, but it had no benefits. Just weeks after Reagan started his new job we had an "uh-oh" moment..... Immediately, Reagan says he knew that I was pregnant, but I kept thinking, "Surely not.... it can't be...." Honestly, I began to realize that it was certainly a real possibility and the overwhelming nausea and constant need to pee were definite confirmations.

So, on July 8, 2009 I took a pregnancy test..... and I held my breath.... then I saw TWO lines pop up in that window... and I cried, no sobbed, for several hours. One part of me was ecstatic and another was overwhelmed with all this meant to our family. Within a few days, I was caught up in the excitement and anticipation of this precious baby joining our family.

Now fast forward nine months......

On Saturday, March 13, I went to bed at about 11 pm due to the time change that was taking place that night. Plus, I had been checking on Carson who was running about 102* fever as well as writing thank you notes and I was worn out. About two hours later, I was awakened to discover that Caleb was sick to his stomach and found myself changing bedsheets, cleaning carpets, and comforting my nearly ten year old. This went on for about the next three hours when Reagan and I finally returned to bed, and I began praying for God to let this baby wait one more night to come.... I really needed some sleep. (Can't you hear God chuckling again??) At a little after 6 a.m., I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom because, in my dead sleep stupor, I thought I was wetting myself. It took only a few seconds for reality to hit me that my water had broken and we needed to get to the hospital. The next hour was chaotic as we called parents, packed bags, and finally got the infant carrier out of the box (yeah, we were so not ready yet).

At 12:45 p.m., Kendall David Boles sounded his first cry and I was hooked.... this precious boy had me completely enamored with him just like his two brothers and Daddy. I love him so much and cannot imagine life without him. He has brought such joy to our lives and has made me feel so overwhelmed that God would give us such an unexpected blessing. Happy Birthday Kendall!

Six Months?!?!

On Tuesday, Kendall turned six months..... Six Months!?!?..... How did THAT happen? I am a mother to three kids, and I know how fast time flies, but I was thrown by how quickly this past six months has passed. How could this precious little guy only be six months months old when it feels like he has been in my heart forever? How can he already six months old when it feels like he just arrived yesterday? How could one little man totally change our family forever? He truly is a joy and treasure, and I am so thankful for him!

How many baths does it take to clean a baby?

So, HOW many baths DOES it take to clean a baby boy?

Yesterday, I was changing Kendall's diaper as we were getting ready to leave to go to church when IT happened.

Sprinkle, sprinkle, Sprinkle, sprinkle

All over me and him!!!

Off to the bath we go and just as I start scrubbing him with soap.....

Sprinkle, sprinkle, Sprinkle, sprinkle

Drain the water.

Refill the water and begins scrubbing him again when he spits up everywhere!

So, HOW many baths DOES it take to clean a baby boy????

By the way, we did make it to church on time!