To Grandma Boles....

On this day, this very day, ninety years ago Arlene Schwartz was born into this world.  She was one of fifteen children raised on hard work and strong determination.  She met a handsome young man and married him at the tender age of 17.  She and her love, Monroe Boles, raised four sons including one who grew to become the father of my husband. 

I feel very inadequate to share much about this beautiful lady as I am relatively new to the family, but I could not let this day pass without sharing what she has meant to me.  When I first came to meet the Boles family back in November 1996, I was more than a little nervous.  Reagan and I were newly engaged after a whirlwind courtship, and it was the first time for me to meet his extended family.  The Boles are a rare jewel in this modern society of dysfunctional families as there is an extensive history of strong, loving marriages.   Plus, there is a strong emotional bond that ties this family together which is tender and precious to witness.  However, it can also be incredibly intimidating! 
As I walked into the home of Monroe and Arlene for the first time, the thing that struck me was how it smelled just like my grandparents' home.  Monroe and Arlene (Paw-paw and Grandma) even looked similar to my own grandparents and Grandma's warm smile immediately put me to ease.   The Boles matriarch always greeted us at the door with a warm hug, smile and a "Come on in!".

I have loved, over the years, to walk into their kitchen finding she and Paw-paw sitting at their small bistro table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper together.  Often, no words were spoken, but there was anything but silence between them- the comfort and peace that they shared together just being and living spoke volumes.  Grandma has a laugh that brings such warmth to your soul and when she smiles with that spirited, mischievous twinkle in her eye, you can't help but curl your toes in delight.  She has tremendous strength that has carried her through heartache and trials as well as a gentle, tenderness that allows her to shed tears of delight, joy and sadness with grace and dignity.  She is a true southern lady.

I have often thought of her (and my own Granny) as I attempt to raise my sons.  I reflect on her strength, wisdom and wonder what she would say to me about raising three future Boles men.  There is just something bonding between women who have all sons- and one of my last deep conversations with Grandma, when I really knew that she was "there" was about raising boys.  She has become more than just Grandma to me, she is truly a friend and companion.

To know Grandma at all, however, is to know of her deep love for the Lord.  It is the foundation of what she and Paw-Paw built and it is why this family has remained strong.  God has blessed her richly because they always sought after HIM.  By world standards she may not have accomplished much.... she just lived and thrived.  She didn't change the world, as a whole, but she changed my world.  She raised a son, who raised a son, who won my heart..... she changed my world.  That legacy will not fade, rust or tarnish.  

This scripture reminds me of her:    "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4

We lost Paw-paw in 2008, and Grandma has changed much in that time.  She is more vulnerable, and a little lost without Monroe there beside her- he was by her side for 69 years and no one could truly fill his shoes.  I am thankful, now, for all the moments we still have her with us as I know she longs to see her love again.  It will be a beautiful reunion... when the time comes, but for now, we celebrate this beautiful lady and her legacy.

Happy Birthday Grandma!  We love you!