Not Perfect, Just Redeemed

Yesterday, my second son, Carson, took his first Science quiz and did not do well. It was his first time to take a quiz like that and to be honest I am not sure he fully knew how to prepare and study. He tends to be a perfectionist regarding his schoolwork and was devastated by the average grade he received. He laid behind our couch and cried- nay, sobbed. After several minutes I was able to get him to come out and speak with me. That failure in his mind was beyond repair and he struggled with moving past it. While I reassured him that we would prepare differently next time and that we could learn from this failure- he still had a hard time forgiving himself.

Have you been there? I have. Moments when I thought God could never forgive me- how could I ever forgive myself? In my mind I had gone past the point of reconciliation, healing, forgiveness, and restoration. Thankfully, that was just a lie from the evil one!! No matter how far away you have strayed from God's plan for your life- He is but one breath away from you. His arms are outstretched and ready to offer you freedom, love, healing, redemption, forgiveness.... Life-my friend- real life! No sin is too great for Him to overcome and heal!!

"Let all that I am praise the LORD;
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the LORD;
may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things.
My youth is renewed like the eagle’s! The LORD gives righteousness
and justice to all who are treated unfairly. He revealed his character to Moses
and his deeds to the people of Israel. The LORD is compassionate and merciful,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins;
he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west. The LORD is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are;
he remembers we are only dust. "(Psalm 103:1-14 NLT)

Seek Him and rejoice- by His stripes you can be healed!!! Let all of us who are the redeemed forgiven in Christ praise Him for all that He has done!!

Just a Day at the Water Park

Recently, as Caleb was preparing to go to church camp Carson began to feel a little slighted.  I mean, here his brother got to go on a mission trip and camp- all in one summer -while he stayed home with Mom and Dad.  So, I made an effort to do something fun with him when Caleb went on each of his adventures.  Our big "thing" while Caleb went to camp was going to a new water park in our area called Pirate's Cove.  Carson was so excited that he did a mental countdown for days beforehand.  He would just randomly squeal with delight as he thought about it... seeing him so excited made me excited for him too.

So, yesterday morning was the day and his joy was so full with the anticipation of all that was coming.  We had a big breakfast, put on swimsuits, grabbed our sunscreen and loaded the car.  We arrived early- I couldn't convince him to wait any longer- and purchased our tickets.  We walked around the facility and enjoyed the cool air conditioning before going out in the heat.  But, when we walked back to await entry... Carson caught his breath and began to jump up and down with his excitement in overload.... the fun was just moments and steps away!  Finally, when the water started, Kendall even squealed and clapped.  We found a shaded table and I began to coat them with sunscreen which was quite a task when they just wanted to run and go play.  (I did the best job I could on putting sunscreen on myself while trying to hold a toddler at bay- I am painfully aware of all the spots I missed today!)

Carson went down every water slide and swam in the pool.  He tackled the floating boxes and could have earned a gold medal for his cannon ball jumps.  He faithfully checked in with me often as I stayed with Kendall and he never stopped moving.  I managed to feed every one and let us cool off for an hour while doing more sunscreen and restroom breaks, but then we were at it again.  We were there 5 1/2 hours and Carson was still saddened- nay, heartbroken, to leave when we did.  It was a day of just being able to do all the things you love and wishing it could go on forever.   He told me that he would like to have his birthday party at the water park- that will be quite a challenge since his birthday is in late fall!

I have thought a lot about our day yesterday.... you know, I hope I can be that excited for heaven.  I love my life, and all my blessings but I also want to carry a building excitement for what is still yet to come.  Sunscreen is important or you will get burned!  Spiritual sunscreen is important too...  studying the scriptures, prayer and scripture memorization are all important barriers to sin that will leave us burned.  I think part of what made Carson's day so special was that he got to be the focus of much of my attention as well as getting to pick what we did that day.  I think we all want to feel special and treated like the center of attention some times.... with God, He is always watching over us and designing events to grow us more in His likeness.  We the focus of God's heart and all that He does is for our benefit- even our trials are perfectly designed just for our individual needs.  I loved watching the joy my boys had yesterday and I think God just savors the moments that He blesses us beyond belief... when we just squeal with delight over something He did for us.

I love that God can turn a day of fun at the water park into a lesson for me.  I love my Savior!  Now, where is my sunburn cream? 

False Treasures

Not too long ago, our second son and his older brother were outside playing in the cooler evening night and came running into the house full of excitement and joy.  They had discovered priceless jewels that had been carelessly left in the middle of our street!  Who on earth would leave behind such precious jewels?  They were convinced that we were rich!  Upon further inspection, I discovered it was very brightly colored broken pieces of glass- thankfully, it was some sort of safety glass as there were not sharp edges to fear cuts.  I sadly gave them the news that it was not the treasure they had envisioned, but rather discarded garbage in a pretty package.  Disappointed, the older son discarded his treasure and went on playing.

Carson, our second son continued to cling to the bright, green pieces.... it was his treasure and he couldn't understand.  He kept those pieces and put them in his money jar which is a recycled spaghetti sauce jar.  Later, I questioned why he had kept those pieces of glass.  He expressed that it was better to hang on to the "trash jewels" than to not have anything in his money jar.  Even if it was fake treasure, it made his value seem great.

Last night, Carson's money jar spilled and I helped him pick up the pieces.  I carefully picked up each of the green glass pieces and put them back in his jar.... heartbroken as God spoke to my heart- How many times have I clung to false treasures because I just wanted something even if it wasn't real and true?  Oh Lord, forgive me!  We are so easily fooled by outside packages- shiny, attractive, and appealing.  Yet, most of the time those treasures are false- they do not last!  How many times have I kept something false- knowing it wasn't genuine- because I would rather cling to that than have nothing at all?  Oh, forgive me Father!

The only way to know what is real and of value is through wisdom learned in the scriptures with the Holy Spirit giving us discernment.  God, I want that wisdom to know and understand what is of true value for me, for my family.  Help me to seek after that knowledge each day so that I may be fully equipped for the moments that still lie at my feet.  Then, Father, give me the words to express and teach my children so that they, too, can discern what is real and true from what is false and temporary in this world.  Only by your grace can this be done and in your strength can I stand strong!  Help me Father to not cling to the broken glass of the evil one, but seek after real treasure that comes only from you!

" The LORD says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you."  Psalm 32:8 NLT

" If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."  James 1:5 NIV

"We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true.  And we are in him who is true-even in his Son Jesus Christ.  He is the true God and eternal life."  1John 5:20 NIV

A Lost Tooth!

Today is an exciting day in the Boles house... Carson lost his first tooth!

For several months, Carson had witnessed several of his friends losing teeth and had become concerned as to why he hadn't lost a tooth.  About 3 to 4 weeks ago, we realized that one of his front bottom teeth was finally becoming loose.  Since that time, he has wiggled that tooth trying to prompt it to evacuate it's current home.  Each week, I would say, "I think it will be out by next week."  However, it was one stubborn tooth!

Yesterday, Carson decided to have an apple with part of his lunch and when he took a bite, something "popped" and the tooth was suddenly very close coming out.  While initially Carson was extremely excited, the discomfort of that moment made him well aware that this could be a painful proposition and fear began to overtake him.  All afternoon yesterday, my precious boy was caught in turmoil, anxiety, and fear to the point of tears over how much it was going to hurt for this tooth to come out.  It broke my heart!  I could tell that the tooth was so ready to come out, and I felt like it wouldn't take much for it to come out.  Sadly, though, I couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't be painful.  The one thing I did know was that it wasn't as bad as Carson was visualizing it in his head.  I kept reassuring  him, cuddling him and comforting him as best as I could- it wasn't until we prayed about it (upon his request) that he calmed.  I kind of held a collective breath all evening waiting to see if the tooth fairy would make her first arrival at Carson's pillow, but alas.... no tooth.

This morning, Carson had been up a few minutes and was eating a muffin.  He was walking into my room and I asked him to come give me a quick hug when he reached into his mouth and pulled out the tooth.... He was so shocked.... He was so excited.   It came out totally on it's own with little to no discomfort!  We took a picture and celebrated this victory for Carson.  More than anything, I think he was just so relieved from all the worry and fear that had plagued him for the previous day.

Our human nature is like that- Satan attacks us with fears and we take it to the extreme, huh?  Fears like losing a spouse or a child, losing a job, being diagnosed with a terrible illness, and such can make sleepless nights and drive us to extreme behaviors.  The crazy part is that very few of us will ever face those situations, but Satan knows how to frighten us and get us distracted from the Father.  Truth is, if we are anxious, then we are not trusting and yielding to God- we are trying to be self sufficient and when we realize just how unprepared we are, we panic and give into the schemes of the evil one.  God knows we aren't prepared, capable, or equipped.... but HE is fully capable to meet all needs.  If our worst fear was realized, God would still be there.  He would still meet all needs whether emotional, physical, mental, financial, or spiritual.  At the end of that journey, we would fall at His feet and allow Him to heal us, restore us, and make us whole.  We will have troubles, but God will always be faithful to us when we seek after Him in the midst of the storm.  Just as I did my best to comfort Carson yesterday- God can bring comfort to any situation through the Holy Spirit if we will give Him our pain and hurt and lay our brokenness at His feet.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."      Romans 8:37-39

What are some of your fears?  What are you anxious about today?  Our God is our refuge and strength while in trouble and He never leaves your side. (Psalms 46:1) Don't listen to the cries of the evil one, but turn to the solid promises and truths of the Father!   Rejoice and live in the relief and peace of knowing that God is fully capable of meeting every need!

Proud Momma

I have to take a moment to share a proud Momma moment. This year Carson, our second son, wasn't turning 5 until November 2; so, we couldn't start public Kindergarten until next year. As many of you know, we homeschool our oldest son and I thought that this year might be a good trial year with Carson. First, to see if I could even homeschool two as well as keep up with Kendall. Second, to see if we could survive it without major meltdowns... from him as well as me!

Surprisingly, this year has gone so well. He has really picked up on everything so quickly and I have been blown away. He was SO ready to start school and our waiting another year to do anything wouldn't have been good for him.

On Wednesday, Carson, brought me a book that he had been working on for a couple of days.... now, this book was not a beginning reader book- it was an actual Thomas the Train book. He read it from cover to cover with no help from me. I teared up a little as he read with such confidence and inflection. It was a precious moment and it was so special because we, as a family, were his teachers that helped him achieve this goal.

I do not believe that homeschooling is for everyone and we have determined to pray each year about what God would have us to do with each of our children. In those precious moments, however, I am so thankful that I got to be one of the first to experience that with him as a whole new world has opened to him.... the world of books and reading. It is also in those precious moments that I know- without a doubt- that I am exactly where God wants me to be.... I don't earn a large paycheck and some weeks are harder than others, but this is the journey and calling that God has for us as a family... at this place and time.

Oh, and I LOVE it.....

Finding Comfort

I guess each child finds his or her own thing that brings comfort- pacifier, thumb sucking, stuffed animal, or blanket.

Caleb found comfort in having any stuffed animal with him when he went to bed because he would rub it's tag until he fell asleep.

Carson, however, has always wanted one particular "baby" and his blanket; which happened to be a blanket that Caleb had as a baby. He has always wanted his special baby which is a horse stuffed animal and this baseball blanket. Each night he curls up with them both and rubs the blanket against his cheek. In the past, I tried to offer him a different blanket if we ever forgot it, but he would know the difference as soon as he touched it! The texture of the blanket was part of the comfort that it gave him. Sadly, now the blanket looks a lot more like swiss cheese than a blanket, but it still is his prize possession.

The funny thing is, it is his comfort item, but it has become mine too. Now when I touch or hold this fragile blanket, I am immediately taken back to the little toddler that fell in love with it. It makes me feel closer to him as I recall so many priceless memories.....

I guess we do all have our comfort items.

Carson's Hair

I always thought that if God blessed me with a little girl, that one of the things I would enjoy most would be fixing her hair. However, God has blessed me with three boys and when Caleb was younger I often tried to style his hair. Caleb was not one who cared for this, and in fact, he would always comb his hair forward after I would "fix" it for him.

So, it was fun, recently, when Carson decided that he wanted his hair "spiky".... Now, he doesn't leave the house unless his hair is styled to his liking. In fact, on Sunday morning I had to go in search of my hairspray in order to finish getting ready for church! He also refused to put his head back against the seat in the car for fear of it messing up his hair!!!

Daily we are having conversations about hair gel, hairspray, and comb versus hair pick to get his hair looking just right. I love every minute of it!!!

Who knows what Kendall's preference will be- bald is his hairstyle for now. It is just fun to see how God works to fulfill even the smallest of needs and wishes that we may have. Don't get me wrong- I know that it isn't curls, pigtails, and hair bows but it is God's perfect fit for my life at this time and place. So, I will keep "spiking" Carson's hair and thank God for each and every little blessing.

But, I think I will buy him his own bottle of hairspray! :o)

Teaching Them Early

Well, I hadn't planned on teaching this lesson to Carson this early, but he asked to give it a try....

Training them early!!!