Sleep didn't come too quickly afterward.... I was on alert.
Sometimes I wish my spiritual life had an alarm like that. One that would sound as soon as I strayed too far from my security, my life source- Jesus Christ. Perhaps one like the stores have here in the United States if the salesperson forgot to take off your security tag or like the sound that large pieces of construction equipment make when backing up???? That would certainly get my attention and make me think twice, huh? Ha! The truth is, our precious Father has given us an alarm like that called the Holy Spirit. IF you are truly seeking a life after the Father's heart, you will notice a small uneasiness that pierces your heart when something has changed in your relationship. There will be a nagging sense that something is "off" and the renewal and joy You experience daily in His Presence will dim. This is an alarm, dear friend, a loud sounding in your soul crying out for you to return to Him and access the source of it.
Recently, I experienced it for myself. I had struggled with a growing distance in my personal relationship with the Father. I even expressed to my husband that I felt like I was sinning against the Lord in some way because I sensed several things: a loss of intimacy with Him, a struggle to spend time with Him- reading His word or praising Him, an inability to do certain things that I normally felt His presence guiding and leading me through... namely, writing. Several times in the past week, I found myself sitting in front of a blank computer screen with no hope of processing or expressing what was happening.
In a serious of events, the Father gently revealed to me an area where I had not been obedient to an action and decision for our family. Following my repentance, I felt as though the dam that had held back so much, broke. I praised Him afresh with a renewed heart and mind. I felt relief and the fear that had held me captive in my lack of obedience was replaced with hope and trust in Him. My worship became real again- not just an act of solemn obedience- but a truly genuine outpouring of a thankful heart. Words, suddenly started pouring forth from His heart into mine. Renewed. Restored. Refreshed.
I am thankful for the silent siren call through the Holy Spirit that drew me back to intimacy with the Father. I am thankful that He is ever faithful to give wisdom and insight when we ask- mainly, I imagine, because He longs for that intimacy to be restored as well! Where are you in your spiritual journey, dear friend? Have you experienced what I described before? Are you in a current season of "silent sirens" calling out to you?
If so, here are some things that helped me:
Find a place of quiet reflection, and pray genuinely to Him- asking Him to reveal what area of your life is "off" or not honoring to Him.
Listen.... listen to Him speak to you through the Holy Spirit.
When, He reveals something to you, repent and seek to be obedient in whatever ever He asks of you.
Let me share that it took several sessions of "quiet reflection" for me because my heart was not ready to truly deal with that particular area of struggle. That may be the same for you.... persistence, endurance, and continued seeking after His Heart through prayer will help you make a break-through. I will be praying for you- my unnamed friend- and carrying you to the cross. Feel free to make your needs know to me by e-mail (email@example.com ) or comment below.