When God Fails Us....

I was in a sea of hands raised, all clamoring for my attention, last night as I assisted in the Bible lesson portion of our church VBS.  I selected several different children to take part in the activity before we continued, but in the minutes afterward, I noticed a scowled face looking in my direction from my second son.  He was mad.  I had not chosen him to participate in the activity.  Later, in the car, he commented, "My very own mother did NOT choose me."  He was hurt and felt betrayed. 


The truth is that I had thought about selecting him, but only a limited number of kids were going to be selected and I tried to select a variety of kids.  It didn't seem like that big a deal to me, but to him, his disappointment was very real.  Of all the kids in the room, he was suppose to the be the "special" one because his mom was leading...




The Father opened my eyes to how often I have viewed my walk with Him from that same perspective.  Have I not looked at the blessings of others and been jealous?  Have I not looked in frustration at my Father and felt betrayed because He chose to bestow upon another a treasure I had longed for?  Does this feel familiar to you, as well?




So often, as precious children of the Most-High-King, we begin to feel entitled to whatever we wish.  Yet, our Father is far more interested in developing a spiritually-mature faith that is hard core and marrow deep than trying to entertain us in order to keep us happy.  He knows us so intimately, as the knitter behind our frame, and everything that comes into our life is used to grow and mature us.  That fact is easy to accept when it is a blessing, huh?  What about when a trial comes or when circumstances befall you that literally knock the wind out of you?  A death....a betrayal....a crushed dream.... a desperate need.... is it easy to trust that He has purpose for THOSE events in your life?  Tis, often, a hard pill to swallow.




I read the following statement this morning, "We're all looking for a quick fix, but God is after lasting change.  He leads us to a lifestyle of Christianity." (Beth Moore, Praying God's Word Day by Day)  What He is leading us to is a real and genuine faith that has been tested and tried for the sake of its purity.  That kind of faith is rare and priceless to our King.  If you are walking a difficult journey, it is because He sees great potential within you for more.... more faith.... more purity.... more strength.... more love.....more hope.... more of all that reflects of His very own character.  It is love that pushes you to the limit of your own personal abilities and beyond in order for you to see HIM more clearly.  At the end of your life, what will have more value and worth?  The temporary reprieve or request that you so desperately want- or a purity of character in faith developed by our King of Kings?  What is the treasure you long for most?

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35-39 KJV)

Withheld

Yesterday, I had a sick one in the house- the ugly kind.  Caleb had awakened early in the morning with a sick stomach.  So, I had gone and purchased some survival supplies-- Saltine crackers, Gatorade, and Sprite. I had purchased plenty for everyone just in case the illness spread to the rest of us.


 Once I got home, my youngest son, who was not sick, wanted some of the Gatorade.  Now, I know my son.  In fact, I know my son so well that I was fairly sure that the Gatorade was not going to taste good to him.  So, I explained that the tempting red beverage was for his older brother who was sick.  Yet, he proceeded to cry and voice his frustration over being excluded from this privilege of drinking the Gatorade.  I decided it was best to allow him to have a taste of it rather than feel that he was being purposefully excluded.  Sure enough, one small taste was all it took to wrinkle his nose in disgust.  He didn't like the taste of it.


Truth is, I knew that was how he would react.  My decision to not give him the drink originally was from my deep knowledge of him and from the logic that it was not what he needed at the time.  Yet, he felt distrust and sadness as though I was withholding a treasure from him.  Yet, so quickly, he realized the mistake that he had made.....


My precious Father, spoke to my heart through this experience.  How many times has He- in His intimate knowledge of me- not given me something that I wanted?  How many times did I feel distrust and as though He was withholding from me?  Yet, all along, He knew it was not what I needed at that moment and time or that we still have something to learn or accomplish beforehand.  Our Father never withholds from us without purpose!  We may not have understanding for a time, and in some cases, not until eternity.  Yet, He is whispering to our innermost being, "Trust me." 


There have also been times when the Father allowed me to "taste" whatever I so desperately wanted only to realize that it was not all that I dreamed it to be.  I then could see that I had not been cheated out of something precious, but protected from a greater hurt or loss.


My friend, is there an area in your life that you feel He is withholding from you?  Do you feel as though He has failed you?  No lesson is harder than trusting Him when it goes against our very nature and heart's desire--- but, it is in those moments that the harvest within is greatest!  He willingly sacrificed Himself for the benefit of you; so, don't you think He would give you whatever you are struggling so desperately for IF it was what was best for you?  Trust Him.  Even when your eyes don't see Him, when your ears struggle to hear His call, and your feet are tired from the journey- trust Him!  He will NOT fail you! 


Are you struggling with trusting Him in a certain area?
Can you confess your distrust of Him in that situation?
Will you commit to walk through the challenging days ahead knowing that He will never leave your side?


Praying for you- blessings!

Phone Trouble

On Sunday morning, as we were rushing out the door for church, I had my arms full- literally and figuratively- as these past few weeks have been so hectic and busy.  Often, when you have your hands full, something gets "dropped".....  Boy, I can think of more than one thing over the past few weeks, but on Sunday morning, it was my phone that dropped.  My heart stopped, but I was relieved when I picked it up and saw no damage.  Feeling like I had dodged a bullet, we left and went to church.  However, minutes later, I discovered that it would not turn on.... not. at. all. 


If you know me at all, you must know that I love my phone!  I am never without it.  It is my Bible.  It is my GPS.  It is my internet.  It is my world at large- outside the walls of my house.  Now, I try to use restraint with my phone, but I admit that it is a slight addition.  Suddenly, it was gone.  Ugh!  Just months before, I had dropped my previous phone and the screen had shattered, but it worked fine.  I used that phone- with it's shattered screen- for two months before getting another one.  In order to keep my new one safe, I had purchased a nice "tough case" for it.... well, it looks perfect, but does not work.


The thought hit me how that description fits so many people in our society.  Some look "shattered" but are whole within while others look "normal" and are deeply broken from within.  Which of the two would you prefer to be? 


Another conviction that hit me was that my phone had become the ultimate "resource" for me, but that is what my Father wants to be for my life.  He wants to be my resource for answers, my guiding map, my relationship maker, and my communication tool- spiritually, of course.  Do I miss Him as intimately as I miss my phone?  Oh conviction! 


I need the Father daily.  I need His love poured in and through me to handle all that is needed and required of me each day.  I cannot walk the difficult days without His power and strength from within.  I hope that long after my phone is repaired, that it is a visual reminder of my true resource for life- my Savior from whom all blessings flow. 


Questions:
     Is He your ultimate resource?  Do you look to Him or other people/things when trials come?
     When you look at society, do you see the "normal" but broken people that God places in your path?
     Do you strive to look "normal" but struggle within?  Is that working for you?


Blessings!

Open Vessel

Behind the locked door to our bedroom, the tears fell heavy and fast.  Exhausted from my own feeble efforts and retreating back from the defeat that seemed to mark my week, I whispered, "Father, I cannot do this anymore.  It isn't working.  I feel like such a failure." 


Can you relate?  Truth is, parenting is one of the hardest challenges I have ever been given.  I love my boys, and they are truly treasures that we have been entrusted with to grow and nurture.  Yet, they have their own mind and will that often does not reflect mine or that of the Father.  It has always been the desire of Reagan and I to correct, love, and discipline them as consistently as possible. The thinking being that consistency in love, correction and discipline would give us happy, loving, Christ-following children.  So, the recipe for our "good" kids has been follow through, follow through, follow through- day after day, day after day......  Yet, our children have pushed and tested us continually to see if we would be consistent in any and all parenting situations. 


So, at the end of my own strength, I found myself locked away- hiding from my "treasures"- exhausted and desperate for answers.  Hadn't I followed the "recipe"?  Who were these children and why were they testing me in every, possible, way? 


Through my brokenness, the Father spoke to my heart.... "You have been doing this all in your own strength and you need Me.  You cannot do this- parenting, homeschooling, housework, job, wife, friend- without ME." 


In His perfect timing, we are doing a great study by Bill Lovelace entitled, "Living Life Through a New Source."  The premise of this study is that we, as humans, are not designed to live the Christian life through our own efforts.  Instead, in total dependence on Christ, we allow Him to live through us.  It is the realization that our fruitfulness, as a believer, is based on our total dependence on Him rather than our efforts or abilities.  We often ask God to "help us" in situations rather than asking Him - in desperate dependence- to work through us in that situation.  This was not a new revelation to me- at least in my mind- yet, I realized just how much lately I was not living it out.  I had slipped into my old patterns of living life within the limits of my own strength and abilities.  How did that work for me?  Well, hiding from my children and desperate tears is NOT a good indication of success!


This morning, I started off in prayer asking God to use me as a vessel by which He loves my children.  In other words, Father, please love my boys through me.  Please pour Your perfect wisdom and strength into me as You train and discipline them through me.  I am but a vessel in total dependence on Him.  There is freedom in that- I no longer have to bear a burden that I was never meant to carry.  My sole task is to seek after Him and allow Him to work in and through me.  It also frees me from attaching my value or worth to the accomplishments of my children- whether good or bad.  Our children have their own choice.  Sometimes their decisions will bring great joy to us and other times, heartache.  Regardless, we cannot attach our value or self-worth to raising perfect kids.  Instead, our value has to rest in Him and being the most pure, open vessel by which He is allowed to love, train, and nurture them. 


Friends, I can never love, correct or discipline my children into perfection.  If they succeed in life, it will be because of the Father's grace pouring in and through them- not my perfect parenting.  When they fail, it is a result of their independent choices and I can only pray that they will learn and grow from the experience.  Let's be honest, life for all of us is a mix of the two extremes, isn't it?  Mountain tops and valleys are all a part of life, but when we live in total dependence on Him, all of it can be used for His glory in our lives. 


So, today, I am resting in Him and trusting that His perfect love will carry us all through the different seasons of life- He is sufficient when I am not.


Questions:
     Are you trying to live life in your own effort or total dependence on Him?
     Is your self-worth tied to the success or failures of your children?
     Do you trust Him enough to work out all challenges and situations for His glory and for your benefit?


Blessings!
    

Personal Love

Angry words and a thrown Hot Wheel car were the exclamation point behind the anger in my toddler's world this morning.  His wishes were not granted and His will was not enough to change my mind.  His anger- hot and fast- took over his actions.  My discipline was equally as swift and he stood rigid in the time out corner.  Soon following, when both his anger and resolve had cooled, he came to seek forgiveness.  Arms wide open in search of physical confirmation that our relationship was restored he came along with the words, "I am sorry Momma.  Please forgive me.  I was wrong."  This hard core mother's heart melted.  His touch caused a flood of emotions to spring forth.  He is my child... my precious son.... forgiveness comes so easily out of my deep love and his tender brokenness.


As I pondered that, I thought of the cross.  the moment that the veil tore from top to bottom so that we- you and I- could have unlimited access to the Father.  No longer would a priest have to stand in the gap between us and our Holy God.  Christ, being a living sacrifice, became the path all of us can choose to take to our Father... any time, any place, and any situation.  Suddenly we can talk directly to Him and fully embrace His forgiveness.  There is something precious about the one on one physical embrace, especially in matters of forgiveness....


 As I reflected on my exchange with my son this morning, I can only imagine that our Father feels similarly when we come to Him in tender brokenness.  He must flood with love and compassion for us as He fully surrounds us in His personal embrace reminding us that His love is real, true and deep enough to cover all shortcomings.  His love is personal and came at great sacrifice because He wanted to be the one we found when in times of need.  Not a priest in human flesh... but our Father with arms outstretched waiting on you.  The great I AM, Alpha and Omega, and Creator of All.... giving you unlimited access because His rich love is a deeply personal one.


What is holding you back?  Blessings!

He is There

A couple of days ago, we had a rough start to the day.  One son was standing in the timeout corner crying and upset while another was yelling at me from his room.  I felt tired and it was only 9 am.  Parenting is hard.  Most of long to be good parents, and a majority of us truly do the best we can to teach and train our kids.  Yet, there are some days when the thought of running away sounds good.  I even looked at the remaining son who was just watching the tears and insults go flying around the room.  I told him that I was glad he was not in such a mood as the other two.... if he went "off" I might have to put myself in the timeout corner.


Things calmed and the day ended well despite our tortuous beginning.  In the quiet moments of reflection of how I felt in those weak moments, the Father spoke to my heart and reminded me that He never runs from us.  No matter what we go through or how we respond in the midst of it, He is ever faithful to us....


Even when we choose to go against His wishes,
     He is there.


Even when our actions bring shame and harm ourselves,
     He is there.


Even when we yell in anger at Him for not doing things our way,
     He is there.


Even when the world seems to be crashing down around us,
     He is there.


Even when we cannot see how we can go on in the midst of a painful situation,
     He is there.


Even when the words won't come,
     He is there.


Always.  Faithful.  Present.  Active.  Alive.  Involved.  Committed. 


He is there.

CHRISTmas

Ten beautiful fingers and ten precious toes.... skin so soft to the touch and those first cries of life.  Memories like that become seared in the hearts and minds of parents.  A new babe born brings delight and joy.  Life is newness and renewal.  A fresh start birthed out of pain and anguish.  A picture of redemption- the redemption that our Father offers to each of us.

A young mother and father entered into the small town of Bethlehem.  Filled to the brim with travelers returning to their homeland for a census ordered by the ruler of that time, all of its nooks and crannies were filled to the measure.  They came in search of a place to rest... to wait for the cries of new life that were all to soon coming.  Their search was fruitless.  No one was willing to give up their coveted position and security to risk being left out in the cold.  Only one, with an ever so humble offering, was willing to help.  A stable.  In truth, a shelter for animals, was all that was made available to them. 

Within its meagerness, stench and filth, the King of Kings came forth into this world.  Wrapped in far more that swaddling clothes, He was all-immortal wrapped in humble flesh and bone. He was part of the Creator of the universe restrained by the will of the Father to become a child- dependent on the creation He had helped form.  He fate sealed before His first cry- born in pain and to die in pain it was all for our redemption.  All redemption is marked by pain because all true redemption begins at the birth and death of our Savior.

His birth was the beginning of redemption- MY redemption.  He came for me, for you, for all humanity.  How can Christmas be anything less than a celebration of that fact? 

Yet, we focus on gifts, shopping, parties, snacks and decorations.... we, too, say to our precious gifted Savior, "We have no room for you this holiday."  Such words may not cross our lips, but do they play out in our actions?  He, alone, is CHRISTmas- our greatest undeserved gift. 

Merry Christmas!