When the Toddler Tries to Clean the Table.... With His Tongue...

Last night, as an ode to the end of summer, we went to a local drive-in restaurant for their half price vanilla cones.  When the waitress delivered our cones, Reagan quickly surmised that sitting in our vehicle to eat them would not be a good thing.... for our car.  I mean doesn't that just scream insanity to give a four year old the leaning tower of ice cream and expect him to not get it all over the car ...himself... his brothers... everything!  So, we decided to get out and sit on one of the tables outside of the restaurant.  We had barely sat down when Kendall accidentally brushed his ice cream tower against the table itself.  I looked over to see him sticking out his tongue and leaning forward in the attempt to lick the ice cream off the table. I cannot express the shear terror of that moment.  This may, in fact, seem like an exaggeration, but who KNOWS what germs were on that table. 


I screamed, "NO!!!"


Kendall was caught quite off guard by my sudden reaction.  I mean, he was just creatively cleaning up a mess, right?  Oh, but I long to protect my children from so much- germs, are but a start.  Danger, heartache, pain, loneliness, illness..... the list could go on and on.  Yet, I can't seem to fully protect my adventurous bunch.  To be completely honest, I am learning- more and more- that it is best to not protect them from all harms.  Life, real life, is lived out in glorious seasons of both victory and defeat.  In fact, one can never fully grasp the joy of victory unless they have truly felt the despair of defeat.  Both are need, necessary, and important for growth and maturity in life... and beyond.


Our Heavenly Father allows us to experience both, doesn't He? Mountain tops, valleys and the climbs in between.... all are needed and necessary.  God never wastes your efforts.  All events that are woven in the tapestry of your life were planned and passed through the fingers of the Almighty.  The tears shed and the smiles savored were all a part of His glorious plan.  Victory brings us hope and encouragement while trials grow our strength and endurance.  Each are essential.  Yet, too often, we revere the victories as our own and claim our trials are His lacking..... yet, neither is true.   Our precious Father can do all things, but restrains Himself when, in His perfect knowledge, a greater lesson of perseverance is needed.  He loves you too much to allow you to remain a babe of the faith.... just as any parent longs for their child to grow and mature in a healthy manner.  He will constantly bring events into your life to grow you, mature you, strengthen you, and draw you ever more aware of your desperate need for HIM.


How does this change my parenting?  Of course, I am going to scream out in warning if my toddler runs out from my grasp in a parking lot, (or tries to clean the table with his tongue- oiy!) but I may hesitate and allow him to learn and grow when he struggles with a new skill... like tying shoes, writing his name, or making a new friend.  I am there- always- watching and giving guidance when the Spirit leads, but waiting and watching just the same. HE is doing the same for you, dear friend, so, you can find rest, peace, and joy in that. 


Blessings!


Are you going through a current season of victory or trial?  Do you trust Him as He parents you through it?  What area of this season is difficult for you?  What scripture are you clinging to during this time? 


Needing prayer?  Please feel welcome to comment with your need below or send it to jdboles@Hotmail.com . 

Fingerprints

Fingerprints..... I find them on my refrigerator door, car windows, mirrors, light switches and doors.  I am keenly aware that there are three boys living in the house.... very actively living in this house, I might add.  I love my boys.  I love the way they keep me laughing, but finding yogurt covered fingerprints on my freshly cleaned refrigerator door does NOT result in a chuckle from me. Last night, I was almost asleep in bed, when Reagan called me into the bathroom finding some strange looking fingerprints on our bathroom cabinet.  He called it blood.  I decided to call it "dirt" since all three boys are alive and kicking and no one had brought to my attention any massive blood loss in the past few days.  :)  Sometimes,  in parenthood, ignorance may be a blessing in disguise.


I have decided that our Father leaves fingerprints behind too.... because I see Him in the midst of my day. I see Him when the perfect scripture for my current season pops up on social media, or when the perfect song addressing my feelings comes on the radio.  He is in the last minute delays, the forgotten meetings, and malfunctioning alarms that protect us from harm.  He is in the quiet calm of a beautiful sunrise and the rewarding rest of sunset.  I see His hand in the vibrant fall colors as well as the fresh green renewal of spring.  He is even in long summer nights and pure white of glistening snow in winter.  He is anywhere and everywhere and His heart is always reaching out to touch you... to draw you close and remind His children that they are loved, redeemed, chosen, and never forgotten.  Fingerprints of the master creator imprinted into the lives of His most precious creation- His children.  The creator still shapes and molds the lives of His creation.


To be honest, I see His fingerprints best when my life seems the messiest.  When my life seems to being going perfectly without the blemish of struggles or muddy confusion in the midst of trial, I see His prints less.... maybe I am not looking or maybe my eyes don't see them as clearly....but, they are there just the same.  However, when I am mired in the midst of a messy situation, I look ever so desperately for His hand... and He is always there. 


Maybe today, as I clean yogurt covered fingerprints off the refrigerator, they will serve a reminder for me to search for His fingerprints in my life. How about you?  How have you "seen" His print left on a situation in your life recently? 


Blessings!

To all mothers, today....

To all mothers, today, whether you just sent your babies off in a bright yellow bus or you are preparing lessons for your children at home.....


You are enough.


To the mother who spent hours, at various stores, trying to find pocket folders with brads and could only find ones in "ugly" colors or styles....


You are enough.


To the mother who got up early this morning to do final "First Day of School" preparations and still burned the toast.....


You are enough.


To the tear-stained mother who just dropped off her baby- and her heart- at Kindergarten for the first time today.....


You are enough.


To the homeschool mother who is silently worrying, "Am I preparing them fully?"....


You are enough.


To the mother who finds herself almost giddy at the thought of freedom for the next several hours....


You are enough.


To the mother who is juggling work as well as parenthood and marriage....


You are enough.


To the mother who just dropped off her baby for their "last" first day of school....


You are enough.




You are enough because God designed you for your children- just as He designed them for you- no matter how they joined your family.  You were given all the tools, wisdom, and abilities needed to guide and nurture them into the future only He knows.  Perfection is impossible, but growth and maturity grow best in soil mixed with victory and failure- we learn from both.   Flood your heart and mind with His words and praise...breathe deeply, rest in Him, and know- completely- that you are enough.

When God Fails Us....

I was in a sea of hands raised, all clamoring for my attention, last night as I assisted in the Bible lesson portion of our church VBS.  I selected several different children to take part in the activity before we continued, but in the minutes afterward, I noticed a scowled face looking in my direction from my second son.  He was mad.  I had not chosen him to participate in the activity.  Later, in the car, he commented, "My very own mother did NOT choose me."  He was hurt and felt betrayed. 


The truth is that I had thought about selecting him, but only a limited number of kids were going to be selected and I tried to select a variety of kids.  It didn't seem like that big a deal to me, but to him, his disappointment was very real.  Of all the kids in the room, he was suppose to the be the "special" one because his mom was leading...




The Father opened my eyes to how often I have viewed my walk with Him from that same perspective.  Have I not looked at the blessings of others and been jealous?  Have I not looked in frustration at my Father and felt betrayed because He chose to bestow upon another a treasure I had longed for?  Does this feel familiar to you, as well?




So often, as precious children of the Most-High-King, we begin to feel entitled to whatever we wish.  Yet, our Father is far more interested in developing a spiritually-mature faith that is hard core and marrow deep than trying to entertain us in order to keep us happy.  He knows us so intimately, as the knitter behind our frame, and everything that comes into our life is used to grow and mature us.  That fact is easy to accept when it is a blessing, huh?  What about when a trial comes or when circumstances befall you that literally knock the wind out of you?  A death....a betrayal....a crushed dream.... a desperate need.... is it easy to trust that He has purpose for THOSE events in your life?  Tis, often, a hard pill to swallow.




I read the following statement this morning, "We're all looking for a quick fix, but God is after lasting change.  He leads us to a lifestyle of Christianity." (Beth Moore, Praying God's Word Day by Day)  What He is leading us to is a real and genuine faith that has been tested and tried for the sake of its purity.  That kind of faith is rare and priceless to our King.  If you are walking a difficult journey, it is because He sees great potential within you for more.... more faith.... more purity.... more strength.... more love.....more hope.... more of all that reflects of His very own character.  It is love that pushes you to the limit of your own personal abilities and beyond in order for you to see HIM more clearly.  At the end of your life, what will have more value and worth?  The temporary reprieve or request that you so desperately want- or a purity of character in faith developed by our King of Kings?  What is the treasure you long for most?

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35-39 KJV)

Withheld

Yesterday, I had a sick one in the house- the ugly kind.  Caleb had awakened early in the morning with a sick stomach.  So, I had gone and purchased some survival supplies-- Saltine crackers, Gatorade, and Sprite. I had purchased plenty for everyone just in case the illness spread to the rest of us.


 Once I got home, my youngest son, who was not sick, wanted some of the Gatorade.  Now, I know my son.  In fact, I know my son so well that I was fairly sure that the Gatorade was not going to taste good to him.  So, I explained that the tempting red beverage was for his older brother who was sick.  Yet, he proceeded to cry and voice his frustration over being excluded from this privilege of drinking the Gatorade.  I decided it was best to allow him to have a taste of it rather than feel that he was being purposefully excluded.  Sure enough, one small taste was all it took to wrinkle his nose in disgust.  He didn't like the taste of it.


Truth is, I knew that was how he would react.  My decision to not give him the drink originally was from my deep knowledge of him and from the logic that it was not what he needed at the time.  Yet, he felt distrust and sadness as though I was withholding a treasure from him.  Yet, so quickly, he realized the mistake that he had made.....


My precious Father, spoke to my heart through this experience.  How many times has He- in His intimate knowledge of me- not given me something that I wanted?  How many times did I feel distrust and as though He was withholding from me?  Yet, all along, He knew it was not what I needed at that moment and time or that we still have something to learn or accomplish beforehand.  Our Father never withholds from us without purpose!  We may not have understanding for a time, and in some cases, not until eternity.  Yet, He is whispering to our innermost being, "Trust me." 


There have also been times when the Father allowed me to "taste" whatever I so desperately wanted only to realize that it was not all that I dreamed it to be.  I then could see that I had not been cheated out of something precious, but protected from a greater hurt or loss.


My friend, is there an area in your life that you feel He is withholding from you?  Do you feel as though He has failed you?  No lesson is harder than trusting Him when it goes against our very nature and heart's desire--- but, it is in those moments that the harvest within is greatest!  He willingly sacrificed Himself for the benefit of you; so, don't you think He would give you whatever you are struggling so desperately for IF it was what was best for you?  Trust Him.  Even when your eyes don't see Him, when your ears struggle to hear His call, and your feet are tired from the journey- trust Him!  He will NOT fail you! 


Are you struggling with trusting Him in a certain area?
Can you confess your distrust of Him in that situation?
Will you commit to walk through the challenging days ahead knowing that He will never leave your side?


Praying for you- blessings!

Phone Trouble

On Sunday morning, as we were rushing out the door for church, I had my arms full- literally and figuratively- as these past few weeks have been so hectic and busy.  Often, when you have your hands full, something gets "dropped".....  Boy, I can think of more than one thing over the past few weeks, but on Sunday morning, it was my phone that dropped.  My heart stopped, but I was relieved when I picked it up and saw no damage.  Feeling like I had dodged a bullet, we left and went to church.  However, minutes later, I discovered that it would not turn on.... not. at. all. 


If you know me at all, you must know that I love my phone!  I am never without it.  It is my Bible.  It is my GPS.  It is my internet.  It is my world at large- outside the walls of my house.  Now, I try to use restraint with my phone, but I admit that it is a slight addition.  Suddenly, it was gone.  Ugh!  Just months before, I had dropped my previous phone and the screen had shattered, but it worked fine.  I used that phone- with it's shattered screen- for two months before getting another one.  In order to keep my new one safe, I had purchased a nice "tough case" for it.... well, it looks perfect, but does not work.


The thought hit me how that description fits so many people in our society.  Some look "shattered" but are whole within while others look "normal" and are deeply broken from within.  Which of the two would you prefer to be? 


Another conviction that hit me was that my phone had become the ultimate "resource" for me, but that is what my Father wants to be for my life.  He wants to be my resource for answers, my guiding map, my relationship maker, and my communication tool- spiritually, of course.  Do I miss Him as intimately as I miss my phone?  Oh conviction! 


I need the Father daily.  I need His love poured in and through me to handle all that is needed and required of me each day.  I cannot walk the difficult days without His power and strength from within.  I hope that long after my phone is repaired, that it is a visual reminder of my true resource for life- my Savior from whom all blessings flow. 


Questions:
     Is He your ultimate resource?  Do you look to Him or other people/things when trials come?
     When you look at society, do you see the "normal" but broken people that God places in your path?
     Do you strive to look "normal" but struggle within?  Is that working for you?


Blessings!

Open Vessel

Behind the locked door to our bedroom, the tears fell heavy and fast.  Exhausted from my own feeble efforts and retreating back from the defeat that seemed to mark my week, I whispered, "Father, I cannot do this anymore.  It isn't working.  I feel like such a failure." 


Can you relate?  Truth is, parenting is one of the hardest challenges I have ever been given.  I love my boys, and they are truly treasures that we have been entrusted with to grow and nurture.  Yet, they have their own mind and will that often does not reflect mine or that of the Father.  It has always been the desire of Reagan and I to correct, love, and discipline them as consistently as possible. The thinking being that consistency in love, correction and discipline would give us happy, loving, Christ-following children.  So, the recipe for our "good" kids has been follow through, follow through, follow through- day after day, day after day......  Yet, our children have pushed and tested us continually to see if we would be consistent in any and all parenting situations. 


So, at the end of my own strength, I found myself locked away- hiding from my "treasures"- exhausted and desperate for answers.  Hadn't I followed the "recipe"?  Who were these children and why were they testing me in every, possible, way? 


Through my brokenness, the Father spoke to my heart.... "You have been doing this all in your own strength and you need Me.  You cannot do this- parenting, homeschooling, housework, job, wife, friend- without ME." 


In His perfect timing, we are doing a great study by Bill Lovelace entitled, "Living Life Through a New Source."  The premise of this study is that we, as humans, are not designed to live the Christian life through our own efforts.  Instead, in total dependence on Christ, we allow Him to live through us.  It is the realization that our fruitfulness, as a believer, is based on our total dependence on Him rather than our efforts or abilities.  We often ask God to "help us" in situations rather than asking Him - in desperate dependence- to work through us in that situation.  This was not a new revelation to me- at least in my mind- yet, I realized just how much lately I was not living it out.  I had slipped into my old patterns of living life within the limits of my own strength and abilities.  How did that work for me?  Well, hiding from my children and desperate tears is NOT a good indication of success!


This morning, I started off in prayer asking God to use me as a vessel by which He loves my children.  In other words, Father, please love my boys through me.  Please pour Your perfect wisdom and strength into me as You train and discipline them through me.  I am but a vessel in total dependence on Him.  There is freedom in that- I no longer have to bear a burden that I was never meant to carry.  My sole task is to seek after Him and allow Him to work in and through me.  It also frees me from attaching my value or worth to the accomplishments of my children- whether good or bad.  Our children have their own choice.  Sometimes their decisions will bring great joy to us and other times, heartache.  Regardless, we cannot attach our value or self-worth to raising perfect kids.  Instead, our value has to rest in Him and being the most pure, open vessel by which He is allowed to love, train, and nurture them. 


Friends, I can never love, correct or discipline my children into perfection.  If they succeed in life, it will be because of the Father's grace pouring in and through them- not my perfect parenting.  When they fail, it is a result of their independent choices and I can only pray that they will learn and grow from the experience.  Let's be honest, life for all of us is a mix of the two extremes, isn't it?  Mountain tops and valleys are all a part of life, but when we live in total dependence on Him, all of it can be used for His glory in our lives. 


So, today, I am resting in Him and trusting that His perfect love will carry us all through the different seasons of life- He is sufficient when I am not.


Questions:
     Are you trying to live life in your own effort or total dependence on Him?
     Is your self-worth tied to the success or failures of your children?
     Do you trust Him enough to work out all challenges and situations for His glory and for your benefit?


Blessings!