Friday, April 20, 2012

What is the fire that consumes you?

Recently, while at the grocery store, I visited with a friend and she asked me, "Why do you homeschool?"

To be honest, I am asked this question often. I have developed my own standard response which is something like, "Well, our oldest son has epilepsy and when he was younger we began homeschooling to accommodate his needs, but we fell in love with the flexibility it gives us- especially with my husband's crazy work schedule."

All of this is true, but there is so much more to it- I could mention how much I despise the standardized testing, how much homework that our kids are expected to do which seems to limit their time to just play and be a kid, or mention how I really wanted to be the one to influence their values, behavior and decisions. All of these are a part of our decision, but even that isn't accurate.....

It is my calling.

Having grown up in a family of teachers and having taught in public school for several years, I never dreamed of homeschooling my kids. It sort of went against the grain of how I had been raised. That all changed the moment Caleb was born- all plans to go back to work after his birth changed because I looked into his face and KNEW my heart was at home. It didn't make sense- why quit a perfectly good job to stay home and raise my son(s)? Why scrape by financially from month to month? We could have a bigger house- better vehicles- more "toys'..... Why do that to ourselves? Why not send the kids to school each day so you can have time to yourself- to get all the housework done? Why? Why? Why?

It is my calling.

Later, when Caleb had completed his Kindergarten year at a wonderful Christian school, we prayed about the next step. He would either have to go to public school or I would homeschool him. As we prayed, God made it so clear- even providing the exact money needed to purchase some curriculum. We went into the year saying that we would take it one year at a time- that was five years ago! Why?

It is my calling.

It has not always been an easy calling. When I first stayed home with Caleb, we were so naive that we didn't look at our finances to figure out if we could make it. We just believed that if we were honoring God with our decision, that He would provide and He did. We have given up a larger house, as two of our boys share a room. We have driven older vehicles, and we do not eat out very often. It has been a sacrifice in some ways, but such a joy and blessing in so many more ways. The time we have had to love, instruct, and care for our boys is beyond any measurable value. To be honest, we have never lacked anything that we needed. I think this is because we have been true to the calling God put on our hearts. Furthermore, I am happy. I love my calling and wouldn't change a thing!

While it is what God has for me, I would NEVER think that it should be every one's calling. I greatly admire many of my friends who work outside the home balancing work, family, home and commitments- it is just not God's plan for my life.

Today, I read this from Max Lucado's book, "The Great House of God":

"Want to know God's will for your life? Then answer this question: What ignites your heart? ... As a young man I felt the call to preach. Unsure if I was correct in my reading of God's will for me. I sought the counsel of a minister I admired. His counsel still rings true. 'Don't preach,' he said, 'unless you have to.'
As I pondered his words, I found my answer: 'I have to. If I don't, the fire will consume me."

What is the fire that consumes you? Be true to what God has placed on your heart- don't be consumed with a fire and passion for something that you can't put out. It was meant to burn deep within.... it is your calling.

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