Several days ago, Kendall began to whimper and I realized that he was not fully using one foot to walk or get around on. When I asked him what was wrong, he described a pain coming from one toe on that foot. Sure enough, a very small thorn was protruding from the end of his big toe. Now, this was not a major surgical thing- it didn't even need tweezers! All I had to do was pull it out and all his pain and discomfort would be gone. I could "cure" the situation in less than a second!
However, there was another problem..... Kendall would not let me near his foot. He would let me look at the thorn and comfort him, but as soon as I might reach to remove the "offending" object from his foot, he would push me away. He was afraid. He thought it might be painful, but beyond all that, he did not trust me. That realization hurts, but it truly was the core issue.... a lack of trust. I love Kendall and would never hurt him unless it was an absolute necessary thing for his ultimate health and well being.... like getting shots, bandaging a cut, or removing a thorn that could cause an infection. Regardless of my love, he did not trust me and instead scooted around on his bottom rather than allowing me to remove the thorn.
This really struck a chord with me.... how many times do I have spiritual "thorns" in my flesh that are causing me deep pain and heartache. I am afraid. I am in pain and fear an even deeper pain... as a result, I allow the thorn to remain. My Father could easily remove it and would do it out of His tremendous love for me! Yet, I do not trust Him. It hurts to admit it, but isn't that the core of the issue? He could remove that pain, hurt, issue,or struggle..... at the very least, He gives all that is needed to live beyond it. He never means for us to be "disabled" spiritually because of the thorns in this life. Sometimes, He removes it and sometimes He heals us despite it, but He always longs for healthy children. Too often, it is our own lack of trust that causes us to suffer longer than necessary.
I was finally able to remove the thorn from Kendall's toe when he was distracted. He didn't even feel it! His fear of possible pain was far worse than the actual pain itself. That is so true of our struggles as well.... so often the fear of hurt is so much greater than the pain of allowing God to bringing healing. It is a lie of the evil one... he tries to make us live in such fear so that we will remain in pain and never seek redemption from our Savior. Christ redeems. Christ heals. Christ restores..... and He does it daily. All that is required is to lift our thorn torn flesh to Him... in trust.... and allow Him to make us new. It is trust issue..... It is so easy for me to express that I love my Father, my Savior and the Holy Spirit that is the great revealer within, but why is it so hard to trust? As our love and intimacy grows with the Savior, it becomes easier. As we walk through trials and see His power to restore and renew, our trust grows. Crying out and confessing our lack of trust in a certain area is like opening the floodgate for the healing waters to flow within..... Trust.
I do not know about you, but God has opened my eyes to so many areas where I have a lack of trust in Him. Let us carry each other to the cross as we make strides in this area. His love is so great for us- let us not live in fear, but in Holy Trust cling to the Lover of our Soul.
Blessings!
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