Monday, October 22, 2012

Fearful Moments

Friday, the boys and I went on a field trip to a local area museum for the day. We had a wonderful time and just enjoyed having a day to learn by seeing and touching history in person. I planned to take them to lunch and let them pick the restaurant. Not long after arriving at their chosen place to eat, I realized that Kendall needed a diaper change after being out for so long. When I went into the only area with a diaper changing station, I was not extremely impressed. The facilities were not stellar, but realizing that going out to the car was not an option since the older boys were already eating, I just had to make the best of it. As soon as I placed Kendall on the changing area, he went into a panic. Apparently, the table did not make him feel secure. He began crying and clinging to anything he could grab and kept saying, "I fall! I fall!" I tried to change him as quickly as I could, but he was so tense and rigid that I had such a hard time. I tried to soothe him with comforting words and reassurance, but he would not relax until the moment I picked him back up in my arms. I felt like I had been in a battle! Truth is, the diaper change took longer because he was so frightened.

The more I have thought about that experience, I think I have reacted the same way with God at times. I find myself in a new situation and my fears take over. Then, in my anxiety I become stiff, rigid and unable to be shaped or molded into God's plan for me. Just as I kept trying to bring comfort and reassurance to Kendall while changing him, I think God tries to bring us comfort as well. Too often my growing fear reflects a lack of trust in my Father for the new challenge ahead of me. Ultimately, the process takes so much longer because of that lack of trust.

"And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. For the life is more than the food, and the body than the raiment. Consider the ravens, that they sow not, neither reap; which have no store-chamber nor barn; and God feedeth them: of how much more value are ye than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a cubit unto the measure of his life? If then ye are not able to do even that which is least, why are ye anxious concerning the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin; yet I say unto you, Even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God doth so clothe the grass in the field, which to-day is, and to-morrow is cast into the oven; how much more shall he clothe you, O ye of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, and what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: but your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. Yet seek ye his kingdom, and these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:22-32 ASV)

Father, through the Holy Spirit within, please help my faith and trust of You grow. I want to honor You with a quiet trust when the events of my life seem overwhelming for You have promised to work all trials for my good and benefit. Father, Your strength is enough to carry me through all I will ever face. Help me to know- taste and see- that Your plans are always best for my life. I love you Father!

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