Wednesday, February 13, 2013

An Update on Caleb

Several months ago, at a wellness visit to our family physician, Caleb and I both shared some concern regarding his size and stature.  Our doctor, who is also a friend, agreed that the time had come to send him to an Endocrinologist in order to evaluate his size and see if anything could be done.  We went to that appointment and he endured several tests to determine if he would be a good candidate for growth hormone treatment.  We heard back several days later that he was a good candidate and that more testing would be necessary for him to begin.  This has been a very difficult time for us as we have prayed over our options.

Caleb has always been small as a result of many factors, but just in the last year has it began to affect him mentally and emotionally.  He has struggled with a low self-esteem and others treating him as younger than his age due to his size.  Over last summer, we walked through a journey of depression with him.  Thankfully, God has brought healing and while there are still difficult days, those have become fewer and father between. 

As we considered the treatments for Caleb, one part of me really longed to do anything to help him grow.  I think most mothers would do anything possible to help their child succeed.  Yet, another part of me had to consider the large expense and extensive process that this would entail for him.  We had another appointment with the Endocrinologist nearing in which we planned to ask a lot of questions and try to make a final decision about pursuing a treatment. 

Today, I called Caleb in and asked him to be honest with me regarding all this.  His response blew me away.  He indicated that he did not want to pursue the treatment because he felt that God had made him just the way he is and that God doesn't make mistakes.  He also said that while it is still hard when other kids don't recognize him for his actual age, he had been learning to walk away and let those frustrations go.  Caleb also told me that if others didn't believe him, that he knew God would hold them accountable for their actions- just as God would hold him accountable for his response.  I have been concerned that he would later regret not doing the treatments, but when I asked him about that, he responded by saying that if he did regret it later, he would just have to learn from his mistakes. 

As he walked out of the room, I felt such a peace within my heart.  God gently whispered to heart, "Just trust.  That is your answer."  Seeing my son respond with such maturity really blessed me beyond words.  His battles are many, but his faith is growing.  Isn't that what I have prayed for since he was in my womb?  God never fails us and I rejoice in what He is doing in and through Caleb.

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