I love making lists..... are you like me? Do you make "To Do" lists, grocery lists, packing lists and etc..... I love the feeling of crossing an item off my list- something has been accomplished- finished-completed. I have even been grocery shopping when I would see an item we needed, but didn't have on my list. I have actually written it on my list just so I could cross it off! (Crazy, I know!)
Now if you have read some of my recent posts, you may recognize that God is teaching me to focus on more of HIM in my life- especially in my day to day tasks. This is not easy with all the distractions in my world- homeschool lessons to teach, house that needs to be cleaned, the laundry basket that never seems to empty, dishes that need to be cleaned, meals cooked, and the list continues..... I have a feeling you can relate! Sometimes, having my "Quiet Time" with the Lord has just become another item on my list to check off and God has really convicted me in this area of my life. I believe He wants me to long for Him just as the deer pants for water (Psalm 42:1-3).... to crave His refreshment in my soul for the day ahead... to literally long and need Him just as I need water or air.
Today, He reminded me that my need to complete my lists, tasks, and obligations for the day often derive from my need for security. Security? For me, there is security in being able to manage my day, to complete the needed tasks and to fulfill all my obligations. There is nothing wrong with being productive, and God does not tolerate those that are lazy and unwilling to work- Proverbs is filled with such indications. (Proverbs 12:27, Proverbs 15:19, Proverbs 21:25) I also recognize that making lists helps me to focus and have clarity when needing to complete several tasks. However, if we find our security in that rather than in our relationship with God, we are worshipping a false god.
To be honest, what is really secure in this world? Marriages fail, job lay offs happen, loved ones die from illness, people hurt and betray us.......this list could go on and on. God is our security if we are in Christ. He has never failed us, and yet, we search for security in this world. The evil one lies to us- he convinces us that we can control our world if we only believe in ourselves. It hit me that part of the reason I make so many lists is because I am trying to find order in my world, to control it.... but, I will NEVER be able to control this world... my world.... But, when I cry out to the Father- the Maker of Heaven and Earth- I am reaching out to the only resource able to control this world and my true security is in Him.
This is what I am longing for today:
"My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit-but a brute strength but a glorious inner strength- that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:14-19 MSG
I want to long for HIM. I want a full life in Christ- I don't want my security- I want HIS. This life is too short to focus on anything less. How many opportunities have I missed because I was too focused on my list for the day? I want the crazy, beautiful life God has for me even if it means letting go..... scary? Yes, but never insecure!
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