This morning I was getting some coffee and I happened to look outside the kitchen sink window and saw that our grass had grown quite a bit on that side of the house. A few days ago, Reagan was a real trooper and he mowed the backyard. This was a huge task as the grass had grown and our lawnmower has a broken wheel- yes, he mowed the entire backyard with only 3 wheels on the lawnmower. After finishing 90% of the yard, the gas ran out and he was out of energy as well- the heat was unbearable that day. So, he came in to cool off thinking that he would finish the last 10% later. Life happens and days have passed, but Reagan just hasn't been able to get back to the yard. As a result the grass had grown...
To be honest, that side of the house is not easy to remember because only one window looks out at that side and it is a high window. Often, many days go by that I never look out at that side of the house. When I thought of the whole situation I was hit that this was like my heart sometimes. There are areas of sin that because they are not seen by public eyes or are well hidden that I want to just overlook them. In the past few days I had felt a distance in my relationship with the Father. While spending time with Him each day I would just feel a lack of intimacy. This morning, as I looked at the shagginess of the lawn on the forgotten side of the house, I felt convicted about a decision I had made a few weeks ago. I had not been completely honest and straight forward regarding a decision in an attempt to "fix" the situation and waves of conviction passed over me. This was not a huge issue- rather it was a basic quick, daily decision that I often handle for our family. I just realized that I had not handled it well...and I became so thankful for his sweet conviction. I would rather delight in his conviction and repentance than to continue living feeling distant from Him- my precious Savior.
As no coincidence, I read this as part of my daily devotion digest.... " Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" Romans 2:4 NLT
I also read Acts 10:43 which says, "He is the one all the prophets testified about, saying that everyone who believes in him will have their sins forgiven through his name." NLT
Oh Glory! His love is so sweet to me that I long for Him- I need it just as I need the oxygen that my lungs bring into my body countless times a day.... my soul needs Him like that. I want to be so close to Him that any pulling away- by me- due to a wrong action or attitude will cause me to immediately fall at His feet. Nothing in life can compare to the love He has for me! Change and transformation starts in the still quietness of a heart that has been humbled through the love of the Father.
My day may be busy with many activities, but I may have to go after the shagginess on that hidden side of the house... I want it to reflect what God has done in my heart! Thank you Father for loving me enough to point out the shagginess in my life and to draw me close to You despite it!
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