Friday, May 10, 2013

Disappointments and Failures

Today, I had made plans to spend the day with some fellow homeschool moms.  I have looked forward to this day for several weeks.  So, you can imagine how disappointed I was to have to back out due to Kendall's illness this week.  Sometimes we face disappointments like that as life doesn't always go as planned.  Too many times, an unmet expectation leads to great frustration and heartache.  Such emotions eventually grow a bitter root desperate for resolution- even if it means taking matters into our own hands.  Such, is the heart source of today's reading in Genesis chapter 16.

"Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.) So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away. The angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur. The angel said to her, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai,” she replied. The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.” Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.” And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.” Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered. So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael. Abram was eighty-six years old when Ishmael was born." (Genesis 16:1-16 NLT)

Sarai had longed for a child deeply.  The frustration and heartache she had carried for countless years had stirred a desperation deep within.  Some moments she would find peace, but too quickly it would be followed by hopeful longings that would eventually fall flat.  When her body changed and all hope seemed lost perhaps she became resolved to the end of that dream, but the nagging "What if's...." remained.  Then, the Lord promised Abram an heir of his own flesh and everything changed again.  Had she begun to dream and hope once again?  Did she begin to believe- just for a moment- that the Lord could do the impossible within her?  Perhaps.... but after many years of waiting, no heir had come.  Frustrated, Sarai makes a desperate plea to Abram in hopes of making God's promise come true.  She would sacrifice herself in an effort to do God's job, but she wasn't prepared for stepping into God's shoes. 

Hagar conceived and both women became embittered.  Hagar most likely felt used and hurt while Sarai felt anger at herself as well as everyone else.  Unneeded sacrifice of self at the hope of prideful gain will only embitter a heart.  Whatever she expected from a possible conception in Hagar was not what she gained.  Abram, probably feeling guilt from going along with it all, does nothing to help the situation and allows Sarai to take out her mix of emotions on Hagar, who eventually runs away.  Unfortunately, running from problems rarely fixes them.  God seeks out Hagar.... let that sink in.  He sought out this servant girl who felt hurt and abandoned- our Father never forgets us... not ever!  He gives her a name for her son and she returns to face all that is ahead.  Much heartache and bitter roots grow out of this seed of self-sufficient efforts, and three people are left forever marked by it. 

Today I read these quotes:

"`Every misfortune, every failure, every loss may be transformed.  God has the power to transform all misfortunes into 'God-sends.'"  Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

"Failure is one of life's most powerful teachers.  How we handle our failures determines whether we're going to simply 'get by' in life or 'press on.'" Beth Moore

"Faith is a desperate dive out of the sinking boat of human effort and a prayer that God will be there to pull us out of the water." Max Lucado

We could easily be critical of Abram, Sarai, and Hagar for their lack of faith or that they trusted more in their human efforts than the almighty God.... but, don't we do the same?  How many times have I tried to fix the problem for God rather than have to wait on His solution?  Just like Sarai, I learned a hard lesson- I would rather wait on Him than walk ahead of Him.  He always knows and does what is best for us!  We will soon see if this failure was transformed, by God, into a special sent blessing and how these three handle themselves in the future.  How about you?  How do you handle failures and disappointments?  Has God used them to weave a beautiful life picture for you? 

"Look to Me in trust, anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely new design....Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy for other people in their weaknesses.  Best of all, failure highlights your dependence on Me...Trust Me, and watch to see what I will do." Sarah Young

That is my prayer for all of us today....Blessings!

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